Different Questions

News flash! Life is not a competition. It’s not about being smarter, or richer, or better than Judy, or Joe, or your brother, or sister, or anyone else you went to school with. Living life like a giant contest only gives you just enough time to catch your breath and run the next sprint.

If you feel like life’s questions are:

• Who am I trying to impress?
• What am I really trying to accomplish?
• When will I be able to relax and be myself?
• Where is all this taking me?
• Why is winning so important?
• How can I get my sanity back?

Maybe they could be:

• Who can I love?
• What can I do to help someone else?
• When can I spend more time with those I love?
• Where are my opportunities to be kind?
• Why didn’t I do this sooner?
• How can I make this world a better place?

When things get a little crazy-ass-backwards take a deep breath and remember . . . it’s never too late to start asking different questions.

Questions

In youth we seek definitive beliefs, hard and fast rules, and a view of the world that’s black and white where we can distinguish right from wrong and truth from lie. We want to feel safe and secure. We seek comfort in the familiar and regimented. We want structure and assurance. We want to know all the right answers.

But as time passes these views soften into understanding and acceptance, unlimited possibilities, and the realization there’s so much more in the world than we imagined. So much wonder and excitement. In the end we come to see it wasn’t so much about knowing the right answers as it was about asking the right questions.

Finding the right questions? That, my friend, is what life is all about.

Consider This

Always weigh what will be lost and what will be gained by your actions. Better to thoughtfully consider the consequences and respond in an appropriate and reasonable way than to fire off. Let anger or a perceived slight cool before immediately reheating it in the microwave of emotional reaction. If you must release your indignation use it for constructive change and not destruction. You will be wiser and more respected for it.

In Quaker tradition we have a long history of pondering questions we call Queries. They are meant to spark consideration of truth for the individual as well as the Meeting as a whole. So to put the above in Query form . . . “Do I wait for the Light to illuminate my actions before I respond?” In my view very few take the time to do this. But change needs to happen and so it begins with me.

The Heart Knows the Way

Wish that life provided clear and concise answers. That when presented with which path to take the choice was obvious. That black and white eliminated gray instead of creating it. That we could hone our decision making skills so that they were delicately and perfectly precise. That with surgical precision we could determine the correct way to go.

But life is a mucky murky messy place full of ifs, ands, and maybes. A place where we can never be fully certain of the choices we make. Where we split hairs with the bluntest of edges and cross our fingers in hopes the blade was not too dull for the purpose. That what we knew at the time was adequate enough.

Over time I have learned the deciding factor is not the decision itself, but what lies in the heart. If my motives are based in love and selflessness, if I have no harm toward others in my heart, if my aim is kindness and goodness, if I truly and honestly seek the Light then regardless of the direction I go the Heart knows the way and the Heart will make it right.

Critical Thinking

Without critical thinking
we easily become the things
to which we are exposed.
Make good choices.

Read the Directions

You don’t have to know everything to figure things out. With just a basic sense of how things work you can surmise what to do. Of course, reading the directions doesn’t hurt either.

So here’s some simple directions.

1) Life really isn’t as complicated as adults let on. You have to make money to buy the things you need. Things like a place to live, food to eat, clothing to wear, a decent hair cut, and gas in the car to get you where you need to go.

2) You have to have a job to make that money and while you’re at it you should do the absolute best work you can so no one can ever say you didn’t earn it. Take pride in everything you do. If it ends up you’re pushing a broom, push that broom like no one else!

3) Always be nice to people you need help from and never pass by an opportunity to help someone else along the way – even if they don’t appreciate it. Even if they never appreciate it. Because it’s not your job to worry about that.

4) Stuff is just stuff. Life is about relationships. Those aren’t things that just happen. You have to put effort and time into them to bring out the value. Sometimes it’s just plain hard work. You have to push through the hard times, because that’s the forge that melds us together. We stand with each other or we fall with each other, and I don’t know about you but I’m all about standing.

5) Remember where you came from and never look down on someone else. We all have the same hopes and dreams. We just take different paths to get there. Some of us take longer than others, and that’s okay.

6) Above all else, be yourself. That’s the single most important thing you can do, because you’re the only one in the world who can do it.

Enough said.